Not really sure where or how to start.

I've been fat my entire life. I don't have any memories of being a little girl. There was a short period in my early 20's where I weighed about 185 pounds - and the worst part is I never realized it. I just thought I was huge. I have a few of those pictures hanging up on a board and I just wish that I was that fat now.

I could sit here and say I don't know how/when/why I got this big. It would be a lie though. I take full responsibility for all 349 pounds. I'm embarrassed, disgusted, ashamed, but mostly I'm disappointed that I let it get so out of control.

I've been secretly reading blogs for a few weeks now. I'm truly inspired by so many of you. I can relate to a lot of you - especially those who have a lot to lose. It seems that this is a great venue to share feelings about weight, food, dieting, and life as a fat person in general.

My hope is to blog about all of these things and maybe make a few friends while doing so.