Friday, December 12, 2008

Why do I feel this way?

So yesterday was a weird day for me. I had some errands to run and I knew I wasn't going to walk. Figured it was ok, one day isn't going to hurt. I started my morning off with a bowl of cereal and a banana. Went to the grocery to pick up some miscellaneous things, came home and baked Mexican cornbread for my husband's potluck today, ate lunch (WW frozen meal w/ a tangerine) and then while I was cutting the corn bread it happened - I took a piece. One piece turned into two and then three (they weren't huge pieces, but not the point). What the hell was that? I don't know what happened. Anyway....it's not the eating the cornbread that is throwing me it's the guilt. The rest of the night I had such guilt over not getting on the treadmill (which I could have done at any point), and eating a few pieces of the cornbread. I just couldn't shake it. I guess it's just that I've been doing so well and cornbread threw me off my game a little. Stupid, I know. I didn't do anything wrong really - we had a healthy dinner and I stopped eating @ 7:00PM like always. Looking at it today - it wasn't as bad as I was making it out to be. I think it's just the way my brain is wired - it's all or nothing for me. I have to learn how to be in the middle and ok with mistakes. It's good to blog about it though - it puts it on paper and I'm able to look at it in another way.
Today is a new day though and as soon as I'm done posting I'm getting on the treadmill. And, I'll be walking more today since I skipped yesterday.

3 comments:

Losing Waist! said...

Yes! The black and white thinking has been what has kept me on the weight gaining road. If I am not eating 100% perfect I pick apart the situation until I feel guilty and like I ruined everything.

I really have felt that leaning moderation and balance (instead of perfection and performance) is the way that I am going to succeed in the long term. Very few people perform at 100% ALL THE TIME, like I like to think I should.

I think being aware of it is an amazing step to learning to be moderate and giving yourself some room to breathe. Way to go!

carla said...

how was the treadmill? and if you even say I DID IT than you should be proud.

you should pat yourself on the back for being tenacious.

have a good weekend filled with moderation and YOU TIME.

Kimberly said...

Yeah, I have had a huge problem with not achieving perfection in this diet business. This time though I am focused on today. I don't care what happened yesterday. Tomorrow hasn't come. But I can control today. If I screw up, I screw up. But I can start over with a clean slate tomorrow. Keep your chin up and know that slipping isn't a problem. It is staying down when you do that keeps you from succeeding.

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I'm just ready for a change. I'm hoping that this will be a place to meet people who are struggling as I am and we can help each other out.