December 2008

What does December mean for me?

Well...this year, tomorrow actually, would have been my mom's 58th birthday. She died two months ago. I think tomorrow is going to be a really hard day for me. I wanted to do something special to remember her, but I just can't come up with anything creative. We've already planted a tree. I thought about going to the beach and letting some balloons go (not mylar), but we live so far away and my husband has to work.

Christmas is also this month. It's another reminder that I don't have a job and we really can't afford to do anything for anyone. I love Christmas, but this year won't be the same because my mom isn't here.

December is usually a time I reflect on the last year. I've already started to go over some of the things that have happened and none of it has been really positive:

Got a great job, making great money (quit to take care of my mom)
Gained weight (about 30 pounds)
My mom died (how many times can I mention that huh?)
I don't have a job

I'm sure I can put a spin on all of those things to make them positive like,

Job was stressful, never home, quitting gave me the most wonderful precious time with my mom
oooohhh....no positives here. Excuses though, moved into my parents house -didn't care about food just what was good for my mom
She's not suffering anymore
Lots of time to spend at home making healthy meals and exercising

So....there you have it. None of them feel very positive though. My goals for December are quite simple.
1. Continue exercising
2. Watch portions
3. Lose 15 pounds

So.....we'll see. I think 15 pounds is stretching it a bit, but I really think I can do it. And if not, any loss will be awesome!!!